Ex- Experience

Some days back, a broadcast message was circulated on bbm

“If you were to have a thousand bucks for every ex you’ve had how much will you have now?”

Now, this was pretty much a simple innocent message and I did forward to my contacts. Got to get to know some a bit too. My contacts are in their late teens and early twenties, just like me. This is the age range when adulthood sets foot.

Each one of us had at least one ex, some had several. Got me asking these questions.

**What counts as a relationship?

Who counts as an Ex?**

Growing in the information era, where the internet and social media are tools we the young use ever so frequently. Sometimes as a medium of expression, other times as a means of escape. Now, some friendships are built through this medium. Pen pals to me, but to some they classify such as a relationship. I find that totally awkward.

A relationship to me has a definite beginning (origin) and a destination just like a ship. And before it can be classified as a relationship, both parties should be aware and come to an agreement. There’s the argument that real love comes naturally. True, it does but structure sets the boundaries, purpose et al while none permits for any and everything.

I must admit I’ve had my fair share of “flirtationships” as I call them. Here’s the cycle

1. You get to meet someone you like, could be in person or over the web.

2. You find out similarities between you both and feelings of mutual comfort develop.

3. You look forward to spending time with this one.

4. You grow fond of this person and fall in love. It’s so easy and a natural course.

5. One of you gets so caught up with something or someone else and suddenly being in touch with the first doesn’t seem so important anymore. Or differences suddenly become more obvious.

6. On to the next one.

To me, this is a basic crush situation and is nothing more than childish. May last weeks or even months. Can such then be called a relationship? Not to me.

I don’t classify folk I went through this with as ex.

This reduces the number of exes by a reasonable amount doesn’t it?

Now, say you had an actual relationship and it didn’t work.

What next?

This is where most of us young folk make mistakes.

Some of us become serial daters and practically take no time out to reflect and learn the lessons from the failed relationship.

The reason(s) things didn’t work out need(s) to be found out. Such need to be dealt with, then an ex is not just an ex but an experience which makes for a better relationship in future.

If we don’t extend an EX to gain EXperience, we would find ourselves going through repeated cycles of hurt and may never learn.